Thursday 11 October 2018

ख़ालीपन




'सही कह रहे हो... तुमने कोई कसमेवादे थोड़े किये थे छोड़ने से पहले... भला आँखो में आँखे डाल कर हाथ पकड़ कर अगर प्यार का इज़हारकर लिया तो इसका मतलब यह थोड़ी है केअगला ज़िन्दगी भर के लिए गले पड़ जायेदीया ने संजीदगी से कहा.

कुछ देर इधर उधर देख कर संदीप ने अपने झेप मिटाई.

'तो क्या कहना चाहती हो तुममैंने तुम्हे धोखा दिया हैतुमसे प्यार मोहब्बत की बाते करके किसी और से शादी करके?' उसने खुद को संभालतेहुए दीया की आँखो में देखते हुए बोला.

'यह तुम पूछ रहे हो या बता रहे हो...' दीया ने मुस्कुरा के कहा.

'दीया प्लीजआई मिस यू वैरी मच... तुम नहीं समझ सकती के मैंने तुमसे कितना प्यार किया और तुम्हारे ू चले जाने के बाद मैं फिर किसी कोचाह ही नहीं सका और वो तुम थी जो मुझे छोड़ कर गई थीमैंने तुम्हे नहीं छोड़ासंदीप ने तूनक कर कहा.
'संदीपमुझे मिस करने का हक़ तुम्हे तब होता जब तुमने मुझे पाने के लिए कोई कोशिश की होती और तुम्हारे शादी के इनविटेशन के बाद मैं वहांकयू रूकतीतुम्हारी बारात मैं नाचने के लिएसॉरी यार इतनी महान नहीं हुँ मैंहाँमैंने एक दिन पहले तक रुक कर ज़रूर तुम्हारा इंतेज़ारकिया था और इतना जानती हुँ के जब आपके लिए कहीं जगह ना हो तो वहाँ से चले जाना चाहिए...' दीया ने सपाट लफ्ज़ो में हक़ीक़त बोल दी.

दोनों के बीच में एक लम्बी खामोशी छा गई.

'दीया अब क्या हमअच्छे दोस्त भी नहीं बन सकते?' उसने एक उम्मीद से दीया की तरफ देखा.

'शायद नहींक्यों की हम दोस्त तब भी नहीं थे... वरना तब तुम उतना सब नहीं छुपाते मुझ से...' दीया ने तल्खी से कहा.

'वो मैं तुम्हे दुःख नहीं देना चाहता था इस लिए सब छुपायामेरी सरकमस्टान्सेस समझने की कोशिश करो... तुम्हे सब बताता तो तुम्हे तकलीफहोती, इस लिए नहीं कहा कुछ... पर अब सब ठीक हैंअब हम शुरू से शुरू कर सकते हैं...’ संदीप ने समझाते हुए कहा.

'क्यों अब तुम्हारी बीवी साथ नहीं रहती?' दीया ने सवाल किया.

'रहती है एक बेटी भी है उससेजॉब करती है वह और बहुत बिजी रहती हैमेरा भी टूरिंग जॉब है... कभी कहीं तोकभी कहीं....' संदीप ने कमलफ्ज़ो ें कई सालों का सफर और अपने हालात बता दिए.

'ओके... तो आपकी ज़िन्दगी में फिर से ख़ालीपन  गया हैखैरमेरी ज़िन्दगी बहुत बिजी हैं और अब मरने का भी वक़्त नहीं है...' दीया ने कहाऔर घड़ी देखने लगी.

'मुझे माफ नहीं करोगी दीया?' संदीप ने धीरे से पूछा.

'तुमने कुछ किया ही नहीं संदीप जो माफ़ी मांगोना प्यारना ही प्यार को पाने की कोशिशवो मेरे जज़्बात थे और मेरा दर्द... मैं किन-किनहालातों से गुज़री हुँ तुम्हें उसका अंदाज़ा तक नहीं.... अब सब झेलने की आदत हो गई हैं और यू ही अकेले रहना अच्छा लगता है... चलती हूमेरेफ्लाइट का टाइम हो गया’ दीया उठ कर चल दी.
'दीया... अपना नंबर तो दे दोकभी बात करनी हो तो...  साल बाद मिली हो और ऐसे जा रही हो...' संदीप ने पीछे से आवाज़ लगाते हुए कहा.

अपना इतना ही साथ थाकिस्मत ें हुआ तो फिर कहीं टकरा जायगेटेक केयरबॉय...' और तेज़ कदमो से फ्लाइट के डिपार्चर एरिया कीतरफ चल दी.
दीया जानती थी संदीप को अब फिर उसकी ज़रूरत हैपहले की तरह... मुहब्बत के लिए नहीं बल्कि अपनी ज़िन्दगी का ख़ालीपन भरने के लिए, लेकिन इस दफा वह कमज़ोर नहीं पड़ना चाहती थी.


I am an Artist




I might be considered as crazy because I spend hours silently looking at the sky, clouds, rain, flowers, plants, rivers, sea or anything that belongs to nature, so the calmness would not be disturbed by my words ………..
I may be immature, as I love to dance in rain, smell the aroma of mud, love to see flying butterflies and playing with kids .............I am not ambitious nor do I dream big, as my rewards cannot be measured in monetary aid. My death might come as a disappointment to my close ones, who would get just a few papers filled with black ink, sketches and mysterious paintings of mine……….But my greatest satisfaction comes from the work, for which I will never be paid. Not that I want to be, my emotions being my most prized possession in the whole world. 
For some, I am an emotional fool, who smiles without reason, cries in solitude, I believe in emotions which give both pleasure and pain……. I love without reason………..
I might be annoying, as I walk separately from the flock and break those social norms which are ill-logical. I stand alone away from the crowd may be because of my phobia that I may end up losing myself………
I am not a next door girl, I don't enjoy all those stupid things done by the typical ladies, I might be abnormal or not exactly what I should have been but this is what I am…… who I am. No matter loved or ignored…
I am a writer, a poetess, a painter, who writes and paints to express herself, to say all that which has been left unsaid….



Wednesday 3 October 2018

Father




Your hair is turning white, from grey,
Your face is getting wrinkles day by day,
You seem tired with some physical issues,
How can I accept you’re this weaker version father?

You walk slowly, when I rush to catch something,
Your move carefully with all the precautions,
Your voice is cracked and sometimes sounds strange,
How can I accept you’re this weaker version father?

I had learned walking by holding your finger,
You gave me confidence in how to make the balance, 
It’s you, who told me how to pronounce words,
How can I accept you’re this weaker version father?

My way is tough and hard, I still have rocks to cross,
I still fight with the phobia of heights and depth,
You’re still my Superhero to guide me, in every step,
How can I accept you’re this weaker version father?

I beg my Almighty in my prayer,
Please be kind to me and be fairer,
I’m desirous to stay along with my father here,
How can I accept you’re this weaker version father?





I choose you…




Everyone’s desires don't get fulfilled, 
Your wants are sometimes, beyond your skill,
You don’t do things according to your will,
But I choose you, out of odds for me...

In the journey, people come and go with time,
There are always the Rocky Mountains to climb,
Life is not a poem with perfect rhyme,
But I choose you, out of odds for me...

We were opposite and disagreed with each other,
Strangers for each and unacceptable rather,
Nature secretly arranged our gather,
But I choose you, out of odds for me...

A strange sentiment was felt by both,
We went through an emotional growth,  
Now it’s time for promises and oath,
But I choose you, out of odds for me...

Now you become confused,   
And it’s time to separate and lose,
I moved by making you my muse,
And I choose you, out of odds for me.